Thought Nineteen

Belief systems are like cardboard boxes that we pull ourselves down into. We tape the box together firmly for we fear any other light getting into those boxes. We don’t have to take responsibility once we enter those boxes. We can reside safely ensconced with those mighty cardboard walls. Safe from difficult decisions, not having to worry about our lives. Living life unexamined. Knowing we are doing the right thing because our religion tells us so. Safe to make the same decisions life after life, head in the sand never knowing the difference.

It’s hard to choose to examine your life and beliefs. To see the scary things and continue anyway.

To choose to forget life after life. Some have called it the river of sleep.

No wonder.

If you could see what I have seen, would you be afraid or exhilarated?
Would you choose to walk in the dark, your heart beating with fear, your mind fierce, voice roaring your name?

Our brain and body have the built in bio-construct of fear. We literally can’t help being afraid in our bodies, but our minds can overcome this. We can be fiercely unafraid in our minds and overcome the bio-construct of our biological fear.

Everything we see is an interpretation of our external world based on the mapping we have built over our lifetimes.
Knowing that,
you can choose to be,
choose to see,
more.

Thought Seventeen

The Gods are hungry.
I heard that last night. It was quiet, and I was repeating my mantra in my mind (nonverbal). I heard “I am the hunger.”

Does a whale notice a single krill or only when millions are being swallowed? Do the Gods see a single individual? I don’t think they are capable of that observation except at the very extremity of what they can perceive (as with my experience with the God Hanuman).

But these are the very “large” gods. Would Anubis or Bast notice us? Maybe. Hanuman did. But he was on such a scale as for me to be almost unobservable.

In our offerings to them, do we bring a pleasant smell to their nostrils ( Old Testament Christian)? Maybe. Does that provide favor? Maybe.

Do I want that?
Now that’s an interesting question…

Thought Sixteen

Anger assumes lack where there is none.

I saw a demon walking on a path, then a god danced before me with wild abandon. A women shouted with hubris, while having not eyes to see, nor ears to hear. And later I felt the empathy for those who would not see. I told another I would see her in hell, but she dwelled there already as I had once dwelled therein.

Pain is a universal continuum.

There is no way around, no way to avoid it. There is only one way, through it. Dive into the pain and through it, to that far and distant land beyond.

Pain is a constant teacher.

Ego is the death of growth.

Some that have not ears to hear, nor eyes to see, would demand of you, to see not. To hear not. To join them suffering in the squalid mud. For those, empathies.

Thought Fifteen

The conundrum of the pain is that to do it by yourself, unobserved is to not exist. To be observed as you struggle and wrestle with pain feels authenticated. An observed life.
Are the gods observed as they sway from the pain or do they no longer feel at that level? Is it only at a human level that we feel it?
I don’t fucking know, but I would like to.
The nature of everything is to be observed. That is how we exist in time.
But the universe exists without observation, or does it?