Thought Sixty Five

I was thinking about all of the good in my life over the last few weeks. There is more than I can list, but here are a few:

  • Wonderful friends
  • An awesome relationship with a very special woman
  • An amazing daughter
  • Super relatives
  • A great job that I enjoy
  • A beautiful house
  • Purpose and creativity
  • Peace in my soul

I often think about where I am and why. I don’t feel like I have lost so much anymore. Twenty-seven years of marriage to a despicable narcissistic person have taught me many lessons and have helped me mature into the person I am now.

Feeling resolute and peaceful I go forward in this present moment. With that, I also think about karma/consequence. Several times while driving in the last few weeks, I have had people behave in unbecoming ways. It didn’t matter to me what they did, just how I responded.

Now I have logically known this for a long time. However lately, I really felt this in my bones. One place I noticed this was on LinkedIn. On Linkedin, I am approaching having 10K contacts. Every day, I say “Happy Birthday” to people (Linkedin lets you easily do this). I started doing this a couple of years ago. During that year, I received around forty Happy Birthday messages from my contacts. I enjoyed that and wanted other people to enjoy what I experienced as well (on my birthday).

Thinking about this, I see karma/consequence in action.

This has led me to actively choose how I want to respond to people behaving in unbecoming ways while driving. It isn’t just enough to not respond or hold it in. It is choosing to see it for what it is. Am I tossing a large rock into a karma/consequence pool of the negative or positive?

From a purely egocentric view, I am doing this for me.

I like my life and how I feel about it. The one thing I have total control over is how I choose to react and feel. My choices internally and externally make my life and how I perceive it. My karma/consequence are entirely up to me.

I can feel this deep inside of me. More than ever before.

Peace.

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